I wonder how often people look at themselves, not simply in a mirror, at their achievements or what they’ve acquired. Actually, inward, at their beliefs, at their actions, thoughts, personality, character….. I’ve had a post sitting unpublished for about a week now, while in re-reading it I haven’t wanted to publish it. Events that have happened over the past few weeks have led me to reflect and look inward.
What do my writings say about me, what do my words show those around me, what influence am I having on people and what influence do people have on me. A few months ago I was asked why I was seeking a new job opportunity and I was told I gave one of the most thought out responses, which incorporated the thought I put into my goals, my kids, my family, my emotional well being. Over the past several years I have reflected on how my job influenced me and affected my emotional health, which influenced my relationships and my parenting abilities.
Now, where and what do I have left to reflect on? Me, my personality. I have been thinking why do I have the personality and characteristics that I have? What influences me, what am I surrounding myself with?
I have realized down to the words I say how influenced I can be by those around me. I realize how important it is to surround myself with people who will bring out the qualities in myself I most enjoy, the qualities my kids need and the qualities that bring other joy. I don’t like how easily I can be influenced by others. I’m not sure if it’s being easy going, just going with the flow, if it is that I don’t have the confidence in myself that I think I do or thought I did or if I am too much of a people pleaser.
It has been a year since my last ‘one word.’ The one word that started my writing, ‘radiate.’ I am not sure how well I did with that for each of the 365 days. I do know I made a lot of positive changes over the past year and I have more yet to go. I think my ‘one word’ this year will be ‘gentleness.’ My goal is to react with gentleness with my kids, husband and all those around me. To speak with calmness, patience and sincerity. Looking inward, I want to focus on my family, faith and health.
#myoneword ~ Gentleness